2 more days until I go off chasing something I believe worthwhile. I hope it works and I hope it’s not a bust. From what i can tell now, it won’t be.

Living well is the best revenge<3

realizing the amazing decision you made for yourself. How good it feels to be better than they ever will be. They say living a happy life is the best revenge, and its true 100%.

I’m glad I realize what an amazing life I have. No toxicity, the best family ever, the best friends ever and stable things in my life. No one controls me or brings harm to my life. Wish I could say the same for you, and I’m sorry you don’t/can’t see what everyone else see’s. Have fun being miserable. You’ll lose everything one day and realize what’s happened when it’s too late. :/

I may seem to be snookin’ for love, but at least I’m happy with myself first and foremost. I may not be body confident most of the time, but I know there are good features about me.

I would hate to be you. Someone who needs to find someone to fill a void of being lonely. Someone who wouldnt be able to stand on his own two feet if he tried. I dont know what happened to you, and ive tried to help, but nothing ive ever done seemed to be good enough.

As bad as it sounds, I’m glad to be out of your hole. I’m living my life for me and everythings going smoothly so far. There are times i miss you, but then i think how much different everything would be if we were still together. You’re right, I’ve done the things I said I would. I did my diet, worked on myself for the better, redid everything and got myself back together. I don’t need you. I never did. If anything you held me down, I’m sorry. I’m sorry everything happened the way it did, but we wouldnt be where we are if they didnt.

i wanna party and thats what i’m doing. I want to live and thats what i’m doing. I found someone who makes me happy, I have my best friend, I’m living my healthy lifestyle, and I have an awesome job. I’m happy. Whether you like to hear it or not, I’m happy.

Next on the list is getting more money, going back to school and waitin for this man to come home and go on a date ;) haha. Maybe this one will be a winner for sure. I have hope.

Everythings going amazing. Knock on wood.

Life is good. I really cannot complain. The other day I’m driving thinking how blessed I am. And that’s all I have to say about that… :)

If I can do it one time perfectly, who’s to say I can’t do it again perfectly?

Driving today was weird. I kept thinking about my childhood. Growing up in new york and new jersey. Whenever I go back and visit my grandmother at her house, its going to be weird not seeing my grandfather there too. In a way I’m scared of not seeing him. I’ve known him most of my life. Since I was 5, and when I go back I won’t see him. I was never able to talk to him, being that he only spoke Spanish. But the simple hug and kiss every time I saw him meant the world to me. And I’m sure to him too. It’s weird to think when I go to her house there’s one less hug and kiss ill have to give.

I hate thinking too much sometimes. I’m not sad so much. I’m just weirded out. Per se. And to think I won’t see him in July either. There will be an empty chair. Theres not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him though… <3

Even if we leave things the way we set them now, ill be happy. Were happy. As long as I know you’re here for me, that’s all I need.

Maybe this was too much for you. Maybe this was too much for me. Maybe it won’t work out. As much as I want it to. We don’t always get what we want.

I will always love you, but if you don’t want my love, ill find someone who does. <3

What did I lose? If I’m correct when you lose something you usually want it back. Forgive me but I do not want you back. I have never been happier just worrying about myself. It’s been so long that i forgot how good it was to be so care free. You held me down. And if I recall, this breaking up was your idea the first time. Actually it always was your idea. There was way too much stress and strain on us. And I don’t appreciate my feelings not being taken into consideration by you. Letting you go was the smartest thing I’ve done this year. Sure I may have wasted some time worrying too much about you and not enough about myself. You swear it was even from both sides, but I beg to differ. Worrying about me doesn’t include doing things I can’t tolerate. Worrying about me would be wanting to make me happy no? Apparently that was too much of a task for you. And I’m okay with you not being up for it. Other guys are willing to take your place. You also can’t lose something you never even had. You may have acted like I knew you, like I knew all of you, but i don’t think I ever really did. Which also relieves me because I can’t marry someone I would never know, someone who would never let me in.

I won’t forget. I probably won’t forgive either. But i don’t and won’t ever wish you ill. I just hope one day you can realize what I just did.

If anything, this year has taught me more than last year. I’m excited for next year. Without you of course. Maybe I was too young. Maybe we were too immature. So if anything, well be better off now. You can’t say I didn’t give you a chance. That I didn’t give us a chance. That I didn’t try everything. That I didn’t stay true and strong. You were the one who didn’t. That breaks my heart even more than you defending her over me. Maybe your next relationship you can do it right and not be so stubborn. You couldn’t last on your own.

Replacing you was so easy… ;)

Don’t go thinking that this was a waste of time. I couldn’t forget you if I tried…

Nobody said this was going to be easy, everyday i realize it more and more. But im positive this can’t be found anywhere else. I have to hold onto it while I can…